That Awful Word: Consistency
If you're good at it, check in with me next week. If you're like me, and it's incredibly hard, please read on...
Consistency. The word induces cascades of anxiety because I've failed at it so many times.
I know I'm not alone. A lot of you have told me that once upon a time, you had a great yoga practice. It felt amazing, but you’re struggling to do it consistently now. Here’s what I know: starting is fabulously easy compared to coming back after stopping.
I’m hellbent to be consistent about writing this Substack. It’s a baby; it's less than one month old, and this is my fourth post. I don’t want to be rigid about it, but in the early days, I have to post every week. No matter what.
What is happening for me now is what happens to most of us at some point when we’re doing something good for us, something we love, and we’re on a roll. Life rises up and other things compete mightily for our attention. We miss a day because we don’t have time. We miss a second day because we’re too tired. A week goes by, and eventually, we look back and we haven’t done it in years.
Life has risen up for me.
At 10 PM two nights ago, I backed out of my empty apartment, sweeping the last few feet of fir floors that gave me splinters but that I loved anyway. I set the broom next to the front door and walked out for the last time.
Moving is always hard. This one is particularly difficult because I’m moving back into my house, which I’ve been renting on Airbnb. I have two sofas, two toasters, ten lamps, three vacuums, and endless chairs. It’s a puzzle. It’s a short course in used furniture sales. It’s moving times two, at least.
Let’s add to this sad story: I’m having surgery on Tuesday for a herniated disc that has refused to heal, even though I’ve done all the things: PT, chiropractor, massage. Yes, I even tried yoga. Herniated discs don’t do well with bending forward or lifting, and definitely not doing both at the same time. In other words, herniated discs don’t do well with moving. I have replaced most heavy lifting with shoving and kicking and crying, but it's been hard.
The house is chaotic, and in a few days, I won't be able to lift more than five pounds or bend down to pick up the random power strips and dog sweaters that litter the floor. If I can't find a usable spatula, I’m not going to be able to have a grilled cheese sandwich. It’s terrifying.
I’ll have to ask a friend for help. Even more terrifying.
The point is, that I have a finite amount of time and energy, and I don't feel like I can do everything. I probably can't. It would be easy to put my writing at the bottom of the list. But the writing habit is fragile. I'll figure out the spatula thing no matter what. But I can’t tell you how many books I've written the first chapter of that are now lost somewhere in the Dropbox abyss. I don't want to do that again.
If your practice is not already well established, it is also fragile.
We know that most things that give us lasting benefits require us to do them regularly over time. Exercise, journaling, meditation, therapy, even friendships. Doing them once or twice probably feels great, and occasionally there is some element of the experience that stays with us. But in the vast majority of cases, that feeling is fleeting.
Let’s stick with yoga as our example. If your practice isn’t consistent and you want it to be, then in the beginning at least, you have to do it no matter what. I know. Your kids have to eat. So do you. Your to-do list takes up two pages. There's no oat milk for your morning coffee; you must go to the store. I get it, trust me.
But the real problem is that we just don’t feel like it. We know we’ll feel better if we practice, but our brains tell us, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, later.”
There's a way to do it anyway, and here’s how:
Have a go-to practice of 2 - 5 poses that you love. Don’t be ambitious. We’re talking 3 - 10 minutes, not more. If your practice is short and you love it, when your “whatever” voice kicks in, you can talk back and say, “It’s just going to take a minute.” On days when you have more time, great, keep going. On days when you have less time, just do one pose.
Know exactly where and when you’re going to practice. Put your mat and props in that space. Fold your mat, don't roll it. Sometimes, you’ll need to be flexible about when you practice. Still, pick a time that usually works, and if it doesn’t, no biggie, choose a different time that day.
This is the most important suggestion. Make sure you love it. We have a finite number of minutes in this life. Avoid bad TV, and don’t do yoga you don’t enjoy. If you're consistent, you’ll get stronger and more flexible even if your practice is very gentle. Enjoy it, and as I say at the end of all my classes, allow that sense of well-being to seep into every cell of your body.
The paradox is that if you miss a day or two or three, it's totally ok. You’re human. Stressing out about it or giving yourself a hard time will reduce the pleasure you get from practice, which is the exact opposite of what we want to do. Do it no matter what, and know that your practice is always there for you, and you can do it the next day.
It is a wonderful thing to be able to hold two conflicting truths at once.
In order to take my own advice about keeping it manageable even when things feel crazy, I’m going to be light on the edits for a few weeks. Please excuse grammatical errors, odd sentence structure, and bad advice. My perfectionism will return soon, and I’ll do all those things anyway.
And yes, I might miss a week.
Coming soon: Queries for Katy will be back for round 2. I’ve got a good one for you. Stay tuned.
Do you have a query? My speciality is conflicting advice, but you or a reader might find it helpful. Submit it anonymously here.
Online 200 - Hour Yoga Teacher Training Starting Soon
On another note, Gillian Hull and I are offering another yoga teacher training this fall.
If you need support to grow your practice (and be consistent), and you’d like to experience yoga in the context of its history, philosophy, and tradition, learn more about body mechanics, breath practices, and meditation, it might be time to do a teacher training program. This program teaches you how to deepen your practice in a way that increases your well-being and is sustainable over time. Most importantly, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of your entire, interconnected self.
Or, email me to set up a 20-minute call
Hope the surgery goes well!
It’s always a pleasure to read what you have to say!